Words are extremely powerful, and the language you use plays a major role in your ability to put things into perspective and therefore your attitude of approach. This is important to note in regard to your conversations with other people and your internal dialogue.
Words are emotionally laden; for every thought you have a word you say and you have a physiological reaction. Your words cause a visceral reaction in you, especially negative ones, which seem to scream louder than positive ones. And the more extreme the negative language, the louder it screams. So if you say that a movie is the worst one you’ve ever seen, you will feel more strongly about it than if you just said, “That movie was bad.” That also means that if you say, “This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me,” you will be more affected than if you said, “This is bad but not the end of the world.”
What I’m getting at here is that you do not want to have melodramatic, histrionic, and overactive way of talking to yourself about life.
For example, I try to never use words like “horrible,” “disastrous,” or “catastrophic” to describe a flat tire or sitting in endless highway traffic when I’m in a hurry. Sure, those things are annoyances. They’re irritating and inconvenient. However, they’re not catastrophic and they’re certainly not disastrous, neither is it horrifying.
Nevertheless, I often hear people use words like those to describe things that don’t even almost qualify for that level of crisis, and they do so because they don’t have the right attitude of approach. They’re mentally abusing themselves by using the wrong words.
I have known couples whose wedding went awry – one groom drank too much, one bride tripped on her long veil, and a third couple’s bus full of wedding guests broke down in the pouring rain. They described these events as “devastating,” “a nightmare,” and “the worst day of my life.”
Admittedly, their weddings were not fairy-tale perfect and I am not trivializing the fact that they wanted this special day to go well. But “horrible” and “devastating” are words that describe Hurricane Katrina, 9/11, Tsunami, and a multitude of other tragedies. They aren’t appropriate descriptions of a melted wedding cake, tipsy groom, or rain-soaked guests.
Those things pale in comparison to what is really important in life, and if these kinds of events are truly the “worst moments” of your life, you have hit the jackpot or lottery! Again, if you are saying these things to yourself, you are just NOT using words to your advantage, you’re abusing them by telling yourself “negative” lies, and that you have a lack of clear, realistic perspective.
Questions will determines your thoughts, and your thoughts will then determines your life, so be careful on the words you choose to ask yourself. Most of us, when we see someone of extraordinary capability or someone who seems to have a superhuman capacity to deal with life’s challenges, think things like, “They’re so lucky! They’re so talented! They must have some special gift.” But in reality, the human brain has the capacity to produce answers faster than the “smartest” computer on earth, even considering today’s micro-technology with computers that calculate in nanoseconds (billionths of a second). It would take at least two buildings the size of Empire State building to house the storage capacity of your brain!
“Some men see things as they are, and say, ‘Why?’ I dream of things that never were, and say ‘Why not?’‘” – George Bernard Shaw
Thinking itself is nothing but the process of asking and answering questions. So by questioning yourself with the correct words you more often receive a “better” answer.
I cannot emphasize enough the importance of using the correct words. I don’t have to show you which words to use, which words are “correct” and “incorrect“. Most of us know the difference between positive and negative, empower and non-empowering. Any words that does NOT give you a positive feeling or able to empower you in some ways are considered to be “incorrect“. For instance, “incorrect” words which I have mentioned in this posts are: “horrible,” “devastating,” “catastrophic,” “Nightmare,” ” disastrous,” etc.
To sums it all up, It’s not the events that shape our life that determines how we feel and act, but rather, it’s the way we interpret our life experiences (asking questions with powerful words – negative or positive) that define our meaning of life.
“Learning to ask empowering questions in moments of crisis is a critical skill.” – Tony RobbinsRead More